I wish you could…

Posted: June 21, 2010 in medical
Tags: , , ,

– I wish you could read my mind as I respond to an EMS call “ what is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a gun?

-I wish you could be in the emergency room as the doctor pronounces dead the beautiful little five year old girl that I have been trying to save the last 30 minutes, who will never go on her first date or say the words, “ I love you mommy “ again

– I wish you could comprehend a wife’s horror at 3AM as I check her husband of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping against hope to bring him back, knowing its too late but wanting the family to know that everything possible was done.

– I wish you could read my thoughts as I extricate a teenage girl from the mangled remains of her car. “ what if this were my sister, wife, girlfriend or friend? What will her parents reaction going to be when they open the door to find a policeman, HAT IN HAND?”

-I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging on your arm and asking, “ is my mommy OK?” not even be able to look in his eyes without tears falling from your own and not knowing what to say.

Or trying to hold back a father who watches his young son having rescue breathing done on him as they take him to the ambulance. You know all along he was not wearing the seat belt- sensations I have become all to familiar with.

– I wish you could know the frustration I feel behind the wheel of my car, foot pressed hard on the peddle, my fist pounding again and again on the siren as you fail to yield right of way at the intersection or in traffic. When you need us, however, your first comment upon our arrival will be “ you took forever to get here!!!”

– I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly didn’t come home from my last call.

– I wish you could feel my hurt as people verbally and physically abuse us or belittle what we do, or they express the attitude of “ it will never happen to me!”

– I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain of missed meals and lost sleep

– I wish you could see the all tragedies my eyes have viewed

– I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of saving a life, of being there in a time of crisis, or creating order out of chaos.

– unless you have lived this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, what we are, or what our job really means to us.


  1. Avril (Mom) says:

    We are so very proud of you .. love you lots x x x

  2. Victoria Leeson says:

    This is beautiful Carl, Spoken from the heart.

  3. Cheryl Becker says:

    I admire your dedication and strength of character under such heart wrenching circumstances.

  4. Kathy says:

    You are the best

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